April 7th 2009

My dream last night was a little bit, crazy.  It included a friend from school and one of her friends I have hear her talk about from home.  Home Friend was coming to visit Idaho (actually im not ever sure it was idaho) and called me because.... we'll I'm not really sure why.  But i met them when they got off the train and hugged them like they were my own friend.  Then the friend from school told me they were going to europe of something and asked if she could bring my bike, and i really didn't want to let her take it, so i didn't.

Then there were parties and dance circles and long hair and happiness.

april 2 2009

I really don't remember much at all about my dream last night, and it's taken me all day to remember what i even do.

I remember being in a school in my dream, as a teacher.  The kids were crazy and really wreak-less.   I had keys on a pink lanyard, that i lost and i had to find them.  I remember checking in at the office and asking this kid and checking lockers--all to no avail.  

We searched and searched.  The keys were really important, and I don't think they were even mine.  I needed them back.  Eventually we got them back and i remember leaving and going out to my car. Pinky.  She was back in my life.

april 1 2009

I don't remember as much about my dream from last night as i would have liked to, but i do remember that we were changing the hinges on a door, and it seemed crucial at the time.  They had to be switched out before they broke so that the door would never cease to work--so we stayed one step ahead of decay and any form of backward motion.

The next one was one of those dreams that either I have a lot, or that is just very... familiar.  It was also one of those ones where you are in your high school or middle school with your friends from high school or middle school but the school looks different and they your company isn't anyone you actual know.  

In this dream we were at the school cafeteria and I remember i was really upset because everything had ham in it.  seriously, everything.  burritos, donuts, salads...  I went up to the counter and tried to get something made without ham but ended up talking about movies with the hired help and how he was going to bring in his five favorite movies so kids could borrow them over the weekends and nights between school days.

After that we went to the barn, and i remember i was bare foot, and everyone was really worried about me and i kept insisting i was fine and that it didn't matter because i never wear shoes at the barn.  There was some dispute to be setteled --not about my shoes--but we broke up into teams and went to the declared dispute solving spots:  the field, the hot tub, the shed.... things like that.  I'm not sure which area I went to, or who won the argument, but I fell it was the hot tub and that it doesn't matter anyways.

I guess i do remember a fair amount of details... writing it out makes it come back.

March 31 2009

I have always wanted to keep a dream journal--even since i was really little.  Since I already have three journals I try to use as frequently as possible and sometimes get lazy with writing, I though maybe a dream blog would be a perfect solution.  I tend to be able to format my thoughts and think better on a keyboard anyways since sentences and thoughts come together faster with a keyboard and screen than with a pen and paper and keyboards doesnt get cramps and have to stop to take breaks and lose ideas in the process.

I should probably also mention i remember my dreams almost every time I sleep (I would say every night, but I hardly sleep at night atmore, at least not during what would traditionally be considered the "night hours")

I have had a few really good drems while I have been home--the kind that make you really happy and make you know it's going to be a great day.  The kind that make you know you're on the right path and that maybe it's not just wishful thinking.  The kind that wake waking life make sense.  I will exclude these however, because I feel their details will not fade and they have grown near enough to my heart that I don't wish them to be common knowledge.

I think the dream I had last night was a mix up of scenes from the perks of being a wall flower, ideals from eat pray love, and all of my hopes and wishes for the next 18 and some odd months of my life.    Those were the books i was reading until i finally fell asleep somewhere around 5 am, and summer and the semesters after are all I have been able to think about lately.  Life is getting very exciting.

In my dream last night I went to a theater to see a movie--I don't remember which movie it was, or if it was even a real movie but I do remember that the theater was a grand, it had pillars and fabric on the walls and balconies.  And it was huge, even collosal.  Everyone i knew was there, seriously everyone.  Even the missionaries.  I wandered back to a place I felt like sitting it, and found that i was not without company even though I had gone to the theater that way.  

The boy sitting behind me was so-and-so from such-and-such place, neither of which i can remember now--or actually had probably ever heard of--but it made so much sense at the time.  I must have known him becuase I went back a row and sat beside him.  I also think we must have been really close because it was a rather emotional reunion, and he put his arm around me.  I think maybe we had dated previously.

Im not sure if the next chapter was the same dream, a different story, or both, but it seemed significant to me in a similar way.

I was at a boarding school, I think, somewhere in europe with some mates.  It feels like I should call them mates, not friends because of the nature of the dream.  We were silly and giddy as girls ofter are in exciting new places and on exciting new adventures.  I remember how excited we were to shave and shower and brush our teeth for the first time in a new city.  

I also remember a boy, I don't think he was a boy i actually know, maybe some sort of embodiment of all the things I've liked about all the boys I've know?  Something like that. 

He just felt really safe, like home.  We had some sort of connection that was real and deep.  I don't remember his name, but for some reason calling him "Broden" seems right.  I do not remember that or wish that to actually be his name, but it will work for now.  Broden was either my roommate, or just in the room while I was unpacking and setting up for a semester abroad.  I think the latter deserves it's day in the sun due to the fact that I honor it, and the fact that i had just read the last few letters of the perks of being a wall flower, including one of my favorite letters.   The one about charlie helping Sam pack for school.  Broden was smart, and gentle, and knew how to recover and fix my books when I though super gluing them to a cork-board would be a good storage place for them.  (Honestly, dreams can be so weird)  These books I had I'm pretty sure are not real books, I defiantly hadn't heard of them before, but i loved them still the same.  They were real to me.

At the end we were at a big assembly outside on steps, like those big political addresses in movies.  It was weird though because me and Broden were the ones on stage, and he had something really important to say, but I think i woke up before he said it, or I just don't remember.